mathpreacher:

accidentally forgetting your earbuds at home is like accidentally leaving your first born child at the gates of hell

wavesinjuly:

suckmyphallus:

getterbeam:

imagine if you named your kid dad. just dad.

image

Actually that’s just his nickname. His real name is [trucks honking], but everyone just calls him dad.

thevulpixconspiracy:

rnikan:

SO AT WORK TODAY I WALKED IN AND MY MANAGER WAS ON THE GROUND CRYING AND I WAS LIKE KIM WHAT’S WRONG AND SHE POINTS TO THE ORDER SCREEN AND IT SAYS WE NEED TO MAKE 2000 PIZZAS BY 6 PM SO I CALLED THE GUY AND HE WAS LIKE “I MEANT TO ORDER 20 PIZZAS OH MY GOD I’M SO SORRY I’M ON MOBILE” AND I’VE NEVER LAUGHED THAT HARD IN MY ENTIRE LIFE

2000 PIZZAS.
The world is not yet ready.

(Source: soulgems)

14,827 plays

pretzelsnake:

m0n64 submitted:

For when you find that specal someone
https://31.media.tumblr.com/023adf053339d67322ef5012f7479a5a/tumblr_n8wvm3XXiB1swze9do1_500.jpg

an eggagment ring

DELETE YOUR BLOG 

paradical:

notchicken:

notchicken:

tupacabra:

i feel bad for twins that aren’t equally attractive

this was me and my twin prom night image

thank you for the text post

another year, another disappointment  

image

i still want to know what happened to the other vase

white people will buy whole outfits for their pets and turn around n talk shit about nigga buyin nikes for themselves white people dont want us to have SHOES

biletree:

kassie8yofood:

biletree:

kassie8yofood:

No, we just think its stupid to spend $150+ for shoes that you can get for $50.

Honestly? You’re right. Payless air walks and them fubus at walmart do go off

Because of your ignorance, I couldn’t even understand that.

This is so feeble I’m screaming

I like sandals

(Source: wiggleman99)